I can't think about any thing else

I can't think about anything else. Really. I have deadlines. I have due dates. I have a to-do list a mile long. Sure some of it is wedding "to-do," but most of it isn't. In fact I have a deadline tomorrow night. And what am I doing right now? I'm writing about getting married.

John thinks that I am obsessed. He understands though. Because he gets obsessed, too. Not about weddings. He gets obessessed about ipod-music-organizing and using his dot-mac account for everything under the sun. We've started referring to it as "getting sucked in." We come into the house after a nice meal out, after a gym workout, after a trip to the park with the dogs, and we go to our respective computers (in different rooms of the house none the less!) and "get sucked in." I get on the Here-Comes-the-Guide website and search for venues, cake bakers, florists, and dress shops. He plays with dot-mac. I think he also does some networking for his career as well. I don't really know. But what do I do? I plan my wedding.

Oddly enough, it was actually my sister though who reminded me that I had to choose the colors. I really hadn't thought about colors. I'm more concerned about finding a classy place in the city of San Francisco that has a weekend date open in June of 07. I'm concerned about how many fittings my dress will need. I'm concerned about whether I should ask one more person to be a bridesmaid or not. I'm concerned about the fact that I need a comprehensive to-do list to follow in the planning or else I will forget to put on underwear on the day of the event. But, oh yes, I have to choose the colors.

So we chose the colors on New Year's Eve. I like the idea of red and yellow. I am a "designer." And I can envision some beautiful things done in red and yellow, or red and gold. But John didn't like that. It was probably too flashy for him. So it morphed into burgandy and silver with white. Maybe he's right. I guess that is a little more "classy" and a little less "designerly." Actually burgundy is truely my favorite color. So I am happy with that.

It's a good thing that this wedding is happening in 6 months or less. Because if it were going to take any longer, it would probably consume my life. What am I saying? It is comsuming my life. I guess I really want to get married. It is as if I was born to get married. Like a trip to Mecca. How silly. It's just a party. But I do have to say that I was talking through some of the details on the phone with my mom the other night which caused me to envision the moment of standing in front of people saying vows and I started to cry. Is it because I love John so much? Is it because I am 37 and I've never been married? Does a wedding really warrant this level of obsession? Well, it is fun and I am enjoying it. So sure, why not.