I'm exhausted

John and I have seen two locations, and I've been to four dress shops - all within the last 2 days. I'm exhausted. On the one hand I want to see EVERYTHING. On the other hand, I want to have everthing decided.

The Palace of the Legion of Honor was our first visit yesterday. John is in love with it. He was ready to write the check. It's French, it's art, AND it has an ajacent golf course. I think that John is planning a golf excursion right before the ceremony. The Legion is one of my top choices. Most people don't even know that you can rent it out. On the other hand, Saturday's book up a year in advance! So everyone knows about it, and no one knows about it. You can have the ceremony in the Court of Honor, or you can have it on the Balustrade lawn. John made the decision already. It's definately the balustrade lawn - which overlooks the ocean and the Golden Gate Bridge. However, I like the architecture of the Court of Honor. Tonight I decided that we are getting married under the archway in the Court of Honor - facing the direction of the city. I don't know if it's been done before, but I decided that we are doing it. It's like a massive built-in Chuppah... with a view. We're going to see the Flood Mansion as a possibility as well. But do you ever get that feeling? You know, that "feeling" when you know it's going to be "the thing?" I was thinking that I was going to like the Hamlin Mansion better because it's cozy and a historical mansion. But I didn't. I actually thought it felt a little cramped, and didn't have a good "flow." Flow is important. Spaciousness is important. Choreography of the space is very important. The Court of Honor at the Legion is "choreographed," if you know what I mean.

Today I learned that I don't like polyester on a wedding dress. The one salon that I thought I would like the most (based on web-based reviews), I liked the least - because everything that they showed me was polyester. Polyester doesn't have a personality. On the otherhand at a different store I found a Justin Alexandar dress in silk dupione that I think might be "it." If I don't count a 30 minute visit yesterday to Amy Kuschel's salon (who basically designs for Kate Moss and those who weigh within a 5 pound range of her) it's practially the first dress that I tried on. Hm... there seems to be a theme here... the Legion was the first place we toured, and the Justin Alexandar was almost the first dress that I tried on. It had that "it" feeling. Now if I could just go with that feeling, everything would be so much... but alas I will probably spend a day at Bridal Galleria, sweating and fretting and wondering what else is out there. And we will tour the Flood Mansion before putting down a deposit on the Legion of Honor. Don't ask me why. It's as if I have to be sure, even though we're already sure.

I'm exhaused. I'm obsessed, and I'm exhausted. Can I try on 20 more dresses? Do I need to see the Kohl Mansion in Burlingame? Is there a bigger, better, brighter location out there? I've known since I was in my early 20s that I wanted to get married in an art museum. And when I put on the Justin Alexandar dress today, I felt like it was made for me. You don't get that feeling too often with today's fashions. I found a dress at the Amy Kuschel studio yesterday that was gorgeous. But I came home thinking that I should loose 10 pounds so that my arms would look skinnier. When I put on the Justin Alexandar dress I felt like my body was perfect in everyway. It's also more than $1,000 less than the Amy Kuschel dress, and about $4,000 less than the dress that Elise and I liked the most at Marina Morrison. But it's not because it cost less that I like the dress... it just felt like "me." It has drama. So what do you think? Is that the dress for me?

Hm... as soon as I settle on a location and a dress, then I can relax! Oh wait... I have a cake tasting on the 21st, and I have to talk to the caterer, and Kelly Moser said that her fabulous florist books up early so I better call her right now. Did I mention that all the dress shops said that I had to choose my dress within the next two weeks if not sooner??? Then there is the invitations, we have to register, make a website, send out an engagement announcement AND save the date notes, finalize my guest list which I haven't even done yet, find a photographer, videographer, music, officiator, wedding-day coordinator... I keep looking for a comprehensive list of everything that needs to be addressed... oh wait, the Chuppah, my shoes, jewelry that matches the dress, the men's outfits, the marriage license... okay my head is going to explode. City hall is sounding really great right now.