Absurdities

Okay. Yesterday I spent THREE HOURS painting silver glitter on the Save the Date cards.

Right now I am trying to format address labels for the Save the Date cards so that they line up properly in my make-shift microsoft word template so that I can print them to my fiance's printer that is running out of ink...

Last week I paid two thousand dollars to have veneers put on my top two front teeth so that they can finally be the same color. You see, they haven't been the same color since I was about 10 years old. Somehow I acquired a partially dead tooth. I never cared. Until now. I want to be able to smile freely on my wedding day and know that that the photos will look o-kay. So I paid two thousand dollars and suffered through three weeks of embarassment (more on that later). On Friday, I got my new teeth. The only problem is, they still aren't the same color. Apparently veneers are not entirely opaque. Who knew? So, although the veneers are actually the same color, they are not the same color in my mouth. So I'm two thousand dollars poorer, and my teeth are still two different colors. What is wrong with this picture?

As I was stuffing the Save the Date cards, I noticed that one envelope got mangled as it went through the printer, and 19 of the envelopes were printed on the wrong paper stock.

I've asked my fiance upwards of 25 times for his mailing adresses. I still don't have them.

I've decided to start lifting upper body weights, because I'm wearing a strapless gown. Maybe I should just stop eating for 4 months. Then my arms will look great, and I won't have to go to the gym.

My fiance asked me today if I wanted to register for fine china and/or silver. I have no idea what I want to register for. What should a couple in their late 30s / early 40s register for? We already have two entire households. Can we register for a new house altogether with low property taxes and two separate offices?

Yesterday the six year old girl who is the daughter of one of my bridesmaids and also the flower girl in the wedding saw the Save the Date cards spread out all over the dining room table. She asked me if I was marrying my fiancé, my fiancé's ex-wife, my fiancé's son, or my fiancé's dog. She wasn't exactly sure who I was marrying. I told her that I was marrying my fiancé. She replied, "You shouldn't marry him, you should marry the dog."