Have you seen the lists?

I cannot decipher the lists. What lists, you ask? Go to www.theknot.com and sign up. Then click on "checklist." Or buy a wedding planner book from Barnes and Noble. There is not a Wedding Planning To-Do List out there with less than 50 items on it. However the average item count is more like three hundred.

I'm a motivated person. I'm an organized person. I'm even a (gasp) detail oriented person! And I cannot decipher the lists. I read them. Then I wonder, "Have I done this thing or not?" Let me give you an example. Here is a "to-do" list item from my Instant Wedding Planner book that I bought at Borders. The sub title on this book is: Get from "Will you? to "I do!" in Record Time. It's geared towards planning a wedding in six months or less (that's me!!!). On Checklist Number Two there is an item that reads: "Communicate key details to family, wedding party, and far-flung guests." I cannot actually say whether I have done this or not. Some people know about some details. Does everyone know about every detail? I don't think John has formalized arrangements with his third attendant. And I asked a couple friends from So Cal if they could attend a Monady wedding in June. Well now the wedding is on Sunday, but I'm not rushing to the phone to tell eveyone about that update. And what exactly are the "Key Details" that must be communicated? Is there another checklist that outlines "Key Details?" The lists are there to be specific and aid you in planning. But unless there is a definition provided for "Key Details" then how do I know if this item is done? So I do not check off the item on the list. And it bothers me that I can't check it off. On June 18th, that item will still not be checked off. I know what you're thinking. You're saying "so what! That's just a general guideline." in your head. But I'm very nervous that I will miss something. I'll forget an important item like the ring-bearer pillow, and Colin will then have to carry the rings in his hand which means he might then drop them in the grass while walking down the ilse and they won't be able to be found. It's a wonder that I can even sleep at night.

So today I interviewed a "Day of" Coordinator. I though that maybe she could help me decipher the lists and put my mind at ease. Her name is Leslie. John's friend Kelly used her for her wedding and recommended her. I liked Leslie because she was attentive and yet calm. I am not calm. Maybe she will rub off on me.

We also had brunch with Kelly and her husband today. They showed us their wedding album and other wedding paraphenalia. And I got to grill Kelly on what the bleep I actually need to do to make this thing happen. I went into the meeting thinking that I would be more calm once I had several of my questions answered. Instead I came out with a longer to-do list. Originally I was planning to do the "Save the Date" announcement via email. Well, I discoverd during lunch that John would acctually like to MAIL Save the Date cards because it is classier. Now I need to find a printer two months earlier than I was expecting. And apparently people host a brunch the day after the wedding. So we have to plan that too. And there has to be a wedding ceremony program, which I have to write. And Kelly and Matt had an $8,000 "film" made about them that was played at their wedding reception (this is separate from the videographer that videos the wedding). I had decided that a "film" was completely unnecessary. But Kelly said it was her favorite part of the WHOLE wedding. So, now we have to consider it. And I can't find a married person who LOVED everything about their photographer. The reports range from: "Many of the photos were blurry and the sole copy of the photos were given to us and they were then taken from us during a house burglary so we have no photos." To "We didn't provide a formal shot list so we got a lot of great candids but had to dress up and go back a month after the wedding to re-shoot." Are you kidding me? If you know someone who LOVED everything about their photographer please call me immediately.

The good news is that all of my research has resulted in confident reports that we only need to consider two caterers and two cake designers. We will consider Bon Appetit the in-house caterer for the Legion of Honor and Dan McCall who appears to have a flawless reputation among everyone. And we will taste cake at Beaux Gateaux and Butterfly Cakes. Could catering and cake really be that easy? I hope so, because the Floral Designers and Photographers are going to keep me awake at night for another month.

Speaking of Floral Designers, did you know that the most sought after floral designer in San Francisco requires a $4,000 minimum order for any weekend date? I'm lucky that she's already booked on my date. Otherwise I'd have to buy $4,000 worth of flowers that will be thrown away the day after the wedding. At least I can keep the dress!!!... which is considerably less than $4,000. The Legion of Honor is so beautiful. Why do I have to buy $4,000 worth of flowers for it?

So how do you think I'm doing on the To-Do list? Everyone that I talk to says that I'm in "Great Shape." I have a Date, a Dress, and a Location. I might have a videographer, but I didn't put down the deposit yet. I think we have an Officient. Okay. That's FIVE THINGS out of 300. So I should rest easy tonight (insert smiley face here).